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Downpours


Drip. Drip. Drip. And the raindrops got bigger and bigger until they crashed into the ground.

Can you still remember the last time you went out and get wet under the rain not minding anything? No cellphones malfunctioning, or laptops getting short-circuited? Random thoughts just quickly popped outta my mind while I’m on the jeepney under the heavy rain.

I’ve seen this one FWP (First World Problem) gag wherein kids were whining why their dad bought them the black iPhone instead of the white one, and I was like, “seriously, brat? you’re going loco for the iPhone color and I can’t even afford to buy one [iPhone]!”.  And I thought to myself, it seems like technology’s making living zombies out of the young ones already. It’s supposed to be man using technology, and not the other way around. I can see people getting addicted with phone apps, and I’d be a hypocrite if I say I’m not one of ’em.

But really, ‘balance’ is the way to do it. I’m not against using gadgets nor development of technology. It even creates bridges through communication like SMS or Chat, but it’s also somewhat creating a wall between people in terms of personal interaction. Personal interaction, such as the basic chat or the courting trends. Instead of having fun talking with family or friends, heads are on their phone texting or playing apps. Or instead of enjoying a great concert, everyone’s all there raising their phones and iPads to take a vid out of it (Like hell, there are people watching here at the back ya know?).

Everything that is good becomes bad when in heaps. So next time you take that phone out of your pocket, ask yourself which one is more important: the people in front of you or that dispensable app?

Underneath Venus and the Waning Gibbous

          For years people have been trying to define what love really is in a single satisfying statement, and for years they have failed to do so.

Some define love as something brought about by destiny. That it’s full of magic, rainbows, butterflies, fireworks, and all that stuff. It’s when they wait for their Knight-in-glittering-shimmering-sparkling-armor. It’s when they imagine that everything is always a happy ending. It might be that something that makes you willing to take the risk, to make an effort, and to sacrifice without something in return; and you’re happy about it, too, feeling no regret whatsoever. Something unconditional. Something selfless. Stoicists and voluntarists might say that love is a choice and not a feeling. It’s in our will, and thus makes it controllable. Emotionalists might say it’s a connection between individuals.

However, I might say otherwise.

Love is something horrible. It rips you off of your comfort-zone and makes you vulnerable and weak. It makes you lose yourself in over-thinking about your significant other. It gets inside of you, fills you up and takes a resting place in you. It starts to eat you up, starting from the weakest part of your heart and slowly infects your whole being, until it leaves you dwelling and crying inside in darkness.

Yeah, other people might think about love as something that makes happy-ever-afters and does magic to people. But I don’t think love alone can carry out that “happy-ever-after” all people want to have. It’s more than that. It takes commitment, trust, faith, and a whole lotta cash in your credit card. Even love can’t guarantee a ‘buy 1, take 1’ bargain to any of those things. But cash will. You can get love with cash.

*evil laugh*

What? You don’t believe me? Don’t they have this saying ‘The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’? You might not be a good cook, but you can buy food! Now it can be option, right? And why would do people always say ‘I love you with all my heart.’? Scientifically speaking, we don’t feel any emotions with our heart. It’s still in our brain, specifically in our hypothalamus, that secretes these hormones that makes us feel anger, attraction, etc. The heart just pumps faster because of those hormones. Moreover, I would believe that love is just like the higher level of attraction. This is also something that makes love stupid, because it makes people stupid. Love makes people ignore whatever is around them and base their decision because of this high-level attraction to the other, which I think is pretty stupid. You do stupid stuff because you ‘love’ that person? Come ooooooon. Use the remaining parts or you brain, human.

Finally, I read this featured article on Yahoo! that said ‘Love is just lust misspellt’. I’m pretty torn on this one, but I would say that lust has its edge. Love is just lust repackaged to make it a more presentable one. When we talk about lust, only one word comes up to mind. Yes, that ‘S’ word. “Safe”. LOL just kidding, perv. Yeah it’s “Sex”. Lust is simple, honest and true, incorruptible and safe from forgery. It isn’t misleading. Love, unlike lust, is governed by emotions, feelings, conversations, hugs, tears, coffee and shopping is used to make it look like an effort was worth it. It has too much drama at hand. Especially that “if you love me, then you’d do this…do that.. blah blah blah” shit that really makes me wanna shoot myself.

So you see, everything about this love is stupid. Loving is stupid and people who do are stupid.

But still, why do I choose to be stupid?

PS

Thanks to the ff people for the feedback:

Athena Annisa Chatto, Edward de Castro, Mary Andrea Leyson, Jesieryl Mendez, Jericho Repito

Aaaand random thing: Doesn’t the heart look like a butt upside down? Just saying.

Resources:

http://www.12blackroses.com/?p=126

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-02-12/health/love.heart.brain_1_heart-rate-stress-hormone-romantic-love?_s=PM:HEALTH

http://www.mensxp.com/dating/inner-game/6904-love-is-nothing-but-lust-misspelt.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_philosophy

Clerks and Jobs

I started to have this sideline of working as a clerk starting last Tuesday, and maaaaan is it a pain in the ass.

Well firstly, I gotta wake up early to get there by 9am and srsly, I don’t like waking up early in the morning. Usually I get up at around lunch already (considering it’s summer) since I’m insomniac and usually get to bed at around 2, 3, or 4AM. Secondly, I have 9 working hours daily, and all I gotta do is sit all day waiting for a customer, and do the auditing at the end of the day. And the auditing isn’t that enjoyable either =.= kaya nga ako nag-Information Technology diba, kasi ayoko nyang mga ganyan-ganyan, all that balancing, computations, auditing shit. Even though we have Math in IT, we focus more on the algorithms rather than the computation itself. Ansarap nga gawan nlng sila ng program sa system nila just to make all things easier as their clerk, kaso, I’m just hired there for less than a week as my friend’s substitute and it’s a different story if I made them a program myself (yeah I’m talking about $$$$).

So yeah, I’ll be staying there until Saturday, but it’s as if Saturday is still a looooong way ahead. It’s just so hard when you don’t like your job and you’re not doing the things that you love and the things that you’re well capable of, but I guess this is a taste of what the future might be in store for me. Because soon, I won’t just be sitting in front of the computer all day, coding and all that stuff. I’d have to face people and encounter different personalities. My boss even advised me to be tough when dealing with customers, or else they’ll be the ones harassing you (yeahhh and she has a point. proven.). So for now all I’m left to do is man up and hang on. 🙂

LAN vs Online

Everybody loves games. Different. types. of. games. >:)

Who wouldn’t know what Counter Strike or Dota is? It’s probably the most popular LAN game in the world! But there’s this frustration I have been keeping to myself for a long time. I don’t play those games.

Yeah, seriously. I don’t play Counter Strike or Dota. I did try both games at one time in my life just so I could get the feel of the games. However, I really don’t know why those kinds of games doesn’t interest me. AT ALL. I’ve been told by my friends a couple of times, “Bayuta nimo oy di ka nagadula ani?” (“Are you gay or what? Why don’t you play these kinds of games?”)

Well this is what I think:

1. The Leveling (applies to Dota only)

Idunno… I really don’t get the whole level-to-25-then-let’s-restart idea. I mean, it would normally take around 30 mins to get to max..then the real battle happens. Personally, I don’t like leveling to that level then restart the level again whenever the game ends. I want something that could just be continued whenever I have extra time if I’m not that busy. And yeah I’m talking about MMORPGs. You login, logout, and still be able to save from where you left. You can continue leveling for another time, maybe sometime you aren’t busy or bored, plus you get to talk to people from different countries.

2. Time spent

I’ve seen my friends play those games and spend a lot of time and money at internet cafes.. Yeah plus the saving part wherein they can’t continue where they left off. I just don’t get that. =.=

3. $$ Money $$

I have friends and also my lil bro who plays MMORPGs too, and they get a hefty sum of money out of it. My brother who is studying at Manila right now almost got 16k from a bulk trade of in-game items. However, this is considered as “black market” and he got banned for some time for doing so. Though, he still had some cash from the trades he had before that ban.

I’m not saying that those kind of games are useless. They do give some fun to other people, but I just don’t find it amusing. After a few minutes of shooting, I’d rather wanna surf online and update my networking sites or do some other things worthwhile. Maybe my personality is just kicking in, finding the more logical side of things and asking myself “why am I doing this anyway?”. So yeah, it’s just play style y’all. No hatin’! haha :))

I Need Sleeeeeeeep

GAAAHHH! I haven’t been getting enough sleep for a while now, and I think my body’s still coping up.

Usually I just have around 3 hrs to sleep in the morning now, unlike my 8-hour habit. It’s exam week, anyway so I’m tolerating this. After this, I’m free as fuck. But I’m definitely not liking my naps while I’m on jeepneys… usually I get a kilometer past home and I need to get another jeepney to drive me back. -__-

PS

At last I’m not breaking my streaks in writing my entries! I just hate it when I get to miss posting here in WordPress because of the busy sched.

Stress in 3..2..1.

I always live by the principle “violence doesn’t solve anything”.

Just had a really tough night. My crew mates got into a little..let’s just saaaay, a “hot discussion” witht he other crew. They were kinda like arguing because of lack of respect on both parties. I don’t really mind them if we’re practicing, or whatever they are saying towards our performance, but our leader just doesn’t think that way. He thinks of us like his kids and is kinda protective and touchy when it comes to the other crews picking on us. He has a lot of patience though. But I guess what happened last night was the tipping point and he kinda like burst out and wants to beat the hell outta the other crew’s member. Of course we didn’t want that to happen and stopped him from doing so. So yeah, a little discussion between him and some of our crew members, then another discussion happened between the 2 crews. But I guess bottom line is, it wasn’t really settled because anger was the front liner.

Personally, I thought that the moral or the objective was good, however, the action wasn’t really able to compliment it. I don’t really like being stuck in these kind of situations, but if I did, I know I could’ve solved it in a different manner. Yeah, we had misunderstandings with the other crew, especially when practice begins. Furthermore, we had to share the space where we practice even though just like our leader said “that we were the first ones to use it”.

I even tried to have my say on the matter, and said that if we get too carried away with the situation, it will be on our disadvantage since we still lack practicing. But sad as it may seem, he just shut me off and I don’t want to be in any trouble nor be part of that argument, so yeah, I just kept my mouth shut. I think it just frustrates me that we’re always the crew not finishing practice because of unfortunate situations like that. I really really wanna practice the dance, considering also the time left for us to be able to synchronize and master the figures. It’s my first time to join a crew like this and be able to perform with these people, so I just don’t want things to be so..you know..like that? So I just want everyone to keep their cool…like they always do, and just make those negative kind of things be their motivation to perform better and better. 🙂

Smile!

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Sometimes I catch myself smiling or giggling or laughing even at the simplest of things. I don’t know why I have that habit, though. People even sometimes see me as kinda immature because I look like an idiot smiling at nothingness. Yeah, there are some thoughts in my head that suddenly pop out and makes me smile. But I assure you, I am not crazy. >:)

And after a few minutes of cogitation, reflection, concentration, imagination, consideration and careful examination of my actions, I have come up with the top 5 reasons why other people SHOULD BE smiling. At all times. No exceptions.

 

1. It’s a great cover up.

Yep. It’s a really really great cover up for people. All except for people who kinda have bad poker-faces? I saw one episode of Naruto wherein Sai (the ninja who doesn’t have emotions) had this guide book on how to smile, and was able to confuse his other teammates because of smiling and a little bit of sarcasm. But for us, non-ninja people, we often use smiling when we feel bad so that other people won’t seem to notice. However, there are still some (especially friends who really know you) who can see in your eyes that you are not okay, thus breaking your greatly planned cover up. 😀

2. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.

Cliche. Self-explanatory. Let’s just leave it as is.

3. It gives you a great perspective of life.

Have you tried waking up and smile at the beautiful sunrise in the horizon, the cold morning breeze touching your skin and hear the birds chirping near your bedroom window? No? Me neither. Usually I wake up at lunch, so yeaaahh, I don’t enjoy the piercing sun touching my skin nor its rays radiating my eyes. But the moment I had my breakfast and dress up, that’s the time I’m able to look at things differently. This item does require a little bit of optimism though, because you can never look at the greater things of life if you don’t see the brighter side of things. But smiling at it does make a start. After encountering problems, just shrug it off for a while and smile, that’s not the only thing you’d be encountering the whole day. 🙂

4. It lightens up your problems.

I used the term “lighten up” because I don’t wanna use the word “solve”. Well smiling alone doesn’t solve the problem, but looking at it having numerous solutions do. Like the above, smiling gives you the opportunity to be optimistic, so just grab that chance and look at the brighter side of things.

5.  It makes other people smile too.

Personally, when I encounter many problems, I appreciate my friends when they say “Sus oy! Hayaan mo nlng yan. Maso-solve mo rin yan” (“Gahh! Just let it be. You can solve that, anyway.”) and pair it with a smile.

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I dunno.. they just give me this positive energy and instantly I know I could really solve that problem no matter how difficult it is. So I assume the same things happens when I smile at other people too. I can see them having smiles on their faces and I know I did something, even a small thing as it is, worthwhile.

 

There’s really nothing I would lose if I smile at other people. Seeing the world now with all the animosity and chaos, the least thing I could do is brighten up another person’s day, hoping that he or she might be able to brighten up another person’s day, and so on and so forth. Yeah they could call me crazy or idiotic, but at least they still manage to smile on saying that. 🙂